The Brave Experiment

I am an "all or nothing" kind of girl.

If you knew me years ago during the holidays, you would have seen it. I didn’t just put up a tree; I decorated every square inch of my home. It was a production. It was magical. And it was absolutely exhausting.

That "all" approach took a toll. It demanded a version of me that was performing, not living.

So, the pendulum swung. I went from "all" to "nothing."

For years, I didn’t decorate at all. No tree. No lights. If I couldn’t do it perfectly, I wasn’t going to do it. It was my way of surviving, of protecting my energy.

As women, we are often conditioned to be the designated "Makers of Magic" during the holidays. We feel the weight of the traditions, the meals, the schedules, and the emotional climate of our homes. We are taught that if we don’t orchestrate the joy…. the joy won’t happen.

We run ourselves into the ground trying to create a picture-perfect memory for everyone else, leaving us disconnected, reactive, and dry (spiritually and physically).

This year, I’m 2 years cancer free, no longer anticipating the shoe to drop, I thought it was time, I finally put up a tree. Just a tree…..some outdoor lights, stockings over the fireplace and anything I could just put out without much fuss.

I’m looking at it all right now, and I’m wrestling with it. The old me says it’s not enough, add more, do more. The protective me convinces myself it’s enough.

But I’m asking myself a new question this year: Can I be happy in the middle?

Can I exist in the space between "Superwoman" and "ghost"? Can I enjoy the lights without needing to orchestrate a magazine-cover holiday?

I am calling this my Anti-Hustle Holiday.

In 2025 I came to the conclusion that, "Healing is Resistance” and to me that means resisting big, systemic things that only deplete our essence.

It’s why I left my 18-year career in corporate healthcare after 2 breast cancer diagnosis to finally take the leap into Sanara full-time, letting go of my past self to walk into my new life, reminding myself I have only one life to live.

But in December? Resistance looks like refusing to perform.

Resistance looks like saying: I will not buy into the panic. I will not equate my love with my stress levels. I will not deplete myself to fill everyone else’s cup.

The "Anti-Hustle Holiday" is an experiment in sufficiency. It is testing the hypothesis that we don’t have to earn our joy through exhaustion.

The goal is no longer to do it all; the goal is to feel it all. To be present enough to actually taste the food, smell the pine, and look my loved ones in the eye without a mental to-do list scrolling behind my pupils.

The “middle" doesn't mean boring. It means doing only what feeds you and leaving the rest.

My tool for the middle is The Sacred Pause Ritual which includes our Yerba Mate Bath Soak with Aloe & Jojoba Oil. It is my anchor. When I feel the urge to rush "the all" or the urge to numb out "the nothing", I get in the water. I light the TRANQUILA Candle, I breathe in the Amyris, and I remind myself: I am here and I am present. This is enough.

If you are shopping this month, I challenge you to shop with intention. Are you buying out of obligation, or out of love?

And if the only gift you can give yourself right now is a moment to sit down, stare at your imperfect tree, and breathe?

Then it's perfect.

So, this December, my goal isn’t perfection. My goal is presence.

If you are feeling unmoored—swinging between doing everything and wanting to do nothing—I invite you to join me in the middle.

Let’s stop hustling for our holidays and start actually living them.

Rebekah